This One's For the Men That Raised Me, Taught Me Sacrifice and Bravery

I love tattoos. They're expensive, but really cool. I love the art style, I love the symbolism, I love almost everything about them. The first tattoo I got back on the first day of the 40th Reunion was of my own design. I forgot how much fun I had designing tattoos and putting stories into images until I heard a new song by the Boston band Dropkick Murphys from their new album coming out in January called Signed and Sealed in Blood. The song is called "Rose Tattoo" and before I explain the rest you should watch the video. I'll wait.

It's so awesome! I've been listening to this virtually non stop for days now. Its lyrics brought back inspiration when I thought I was finished with drawing and wouldn't pick up my pencil again for anything but historical research. I think God knew this was coming because a few days before I found this song my mom sent me a package with a drawing tablet and a pack of my favorite pencils: Dixon Ticonderoga black number 2s. Then I heard this song and remembered how much I love drawing tattoos. Many of the lyrics spoke out to me and I decided to design tattoos for different parts/people in my life. The lyrics that inspired the tattoo I want your input on is the one that go:

this one's for the man that raised me

taught me sacrifice and bravery

and

this one's for my family name

with pride I'll wear it to the grave

I grew up in a small town of 8,000 people, a county of 30,000. I only knew one guy who was Irish, and I only assumed I was Irish. My family has been in America since before the Revolution, and though Hale is an Irish name, and I have an Irish temper, and I have red hair in my beard, and I like whiskey, and I love mandolin and bagpipes, I never had any real proof of my heritage. When I moved to Boston, I had a Boston Irish coworker recognize me as being Irish and confirm that I fit the profile to a T. I can't even begin to explain how cool that was. Hence the Celtic/Boston theme of the tattoo.

There are two men in my life whom I consider to have raised me. Growing up, my dad was never around much so it fell to my big brother Eric and my Pastor Larry to teach me morals and impart wisdom onto the confused and angry kid that I was. I chose the Celtic Cross for Larry, and the words around the edge for Eric. The cross as a compass and the points are for both of them.

When I left Humboldt, Eric gave me a little black Moleskine guidebook of Boston. I carry this with me everywhere, and even though I don't need it as much as I did, it has helped me find places I wouldn't have otherwise been able to get to. In the very front of the book he wrote a Celtic blessing that I placed around the edge of the cross. It goes something like this:

May the Everlasting Father Shield You

East and West Wherever You Go

In the last conversation I had with Larry, he reminded me to remember that God led me here and to continue using him as a compass when times got tough. I almost forgot that a number of times, but I had help remembering. Because of Eric's blessing, and Larry's words, I wanted to make the cross as a compass with the four directions. The cross is the Everlasting Father as my compass and Shield, and the four points for east and west wherever you go.  The letters of the compass are written in the font of the Boston Red Sox. I chose this font for several reasons. One is the color. I want the whole thing to be black except for the NSEW and the rose in the middle, all of which will be red. Another is implied in the lyric

taught me sacrifice and bravery. 

Moving to Boston took the most courage and required more sacrifice than anything at this point in my life. I could not have done it without the encouragement and the lessons of sacrifice and bravery I learned from Eric and Larry.

The rose in the middle is a tribute to the song that inspired me. Plus, I really like tattoo roses and finally found a way to get one without it looking weird or feminine. 

So here it is, as done as it's going to get for now. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to send them to me.

With A Little Help From My Friends....

So here it is: late December 2012. I have been in Boston for five and a half months, have completed my first semester at the University of Massachusetts, and I have overcome every hurdle along the way. I have learned what I'm made of and I'm a more confident and responsible individual than the scared kid that left California back in July. I have two jobs, a home, and a 3.5 GPA. For all the progress I've made, though, I would not have been able to go through with it were it not for the support of my friends and family.

First off I'd like to thank Kathy. Despite the direction our relationship has taken in recent months, when I first came to Boston, she was extremely supportive when I was stressing out about where to live and how I was going to eat.

Next I'd like to mention my big brother Eric, who knows me well enough to use the precise key words at the exact right moment to keep me going when I was ready to come home and call it quits. It was through his urging me to keep living my American Dream and stay in Boston for at least a year that gave me the renewed energy to find housing right when I was ready to give up.

Thirdly I would like to throw a huge, gigantic, enormous THANK YOU out to my good friend, one of the best I know, Megan McTavish, who helped me find strength in God and the Bible when I was at my weakest, and who reminded me to find enjoyment in my new life in Boston and loosen my death grip on what I left behind. Without her, I'd still be desperately homesick and counting down the days until I could go back to Humboldt. Instead, I'm loving my life and my pursuits out here, and though I do miss friends and family back home, I know I made the right decision to follow my dream and come to Boston.

Last to be mentioned before I call it a night/morning, but certainly not the least, is Chris and Melinda. It's getting cold here in Boston, tomorrow we're supposed to have a snow storm, and these guys sent me a scarf and a pair of long johns to keep me warm this winter. I'd never been so happy to get underwear for Christmas in my entire life!

I know I didn't mention half of you, and the half I did mention didn't get half of what you deserve, but I hope that all my friends who may see this know that I would not be the success that I am were it not for your love and support. I hope to see you guys someday soon. Until then, thank you, and I look forward to making you all proud.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I've been putting this off all day. I was inspired when I woke up, but what I wanted to reference wasn't near by, so I started watching Mad Men. Then I went to go get pizza and watch more Mad Men. Then I called my family after I finished all the seasons of Mad Men currently available on Netflix. Then I drank some water and read some history of some Dropkick Murphys songs, and now I'm inspired to write this again. There is less than 30 minutes left of Thanksgiving left in Boston. I plan on making it worth it.

Last night at work, one of the bouncers commented that he didn't understand why it was socially unacceptable for someone to dress up as Hitler for Halloween. Don't get me wrong, he understood that Hitler was a maniac that committed unforgivable genocide. But his question was, "why is it okay if I dress up as a pilgrim, but not Adolf Hitler?" That's a very good question, really. The simple answer is that Nazi Germany, and Hitler, were defeated by a more "enlightened" and "civilized" world (we're neither of those things, by the way, but that's a whole other essay). It's true that within fifty years of first contact, over ninety percent of the indigenous population of New England died, largely at the hands of the European invaders. The story of the first Thanksgiving is a story that began with a standoff. The Wampanoag society had suffered from some great calamity, probably disease (this portion is taken from Charles C. Mann's 1491. He doesn't specify the nature of the calamity), and was under threat of annihilation by their rival nation to the west, the Narragansett. When the Wampanoag sachem (political/military leader) Massasoit revealed his strength to the Puritans, they ran to their fortifications in which they had cannon installed. A series of negotiations ensued, in which Massasoit utilized his English translator Tisquantum (commonly called Squanto) and struck an alliance with the Puritans that would deter the Narragansett Nation from wiping out the Wampanoag. Though this alliance insured the immediate survival of the Wampanoag, it also insured the survival of the Plymouth Colony as a foothold for further British settlement in the region, which would lead to further genocide, and eventually through a series of taxes and a war or two, the United States of America, which, from day one was out to punish the indigenous peoples (ask me about the Cherokee after the Revolution).

Now, back to my original intro about my coworker and Hitler. Yes, Hitler lost, and he was a horrible person that is thankfully rotting in Hell. But do you know where he got the model for his Final Solution? United States President Andrew Jackson and his Indian Removal Policy. The Reservation programs and removal acts all set the foundation and model for Adolf Hitler to exterminate the Jewish people in Europe. That's our legacy, folks. One of our Presidents inspired one of the world's most sadistic madmen. Go us. So here's something I'm thankful for on this Thanksgiving 2012: our schools are teaching these things now. The classical narrative of the Kindly Indian and Thankful Puritans is fading, and the cold, hard, painful reality is sinking in. I love my country, and I am proud as hell to be an American. But we're not perfect. We aren't the greatest country in the world. In fact, we're far from it. But knowing that is what's going to save us and make us better. I'm thankful to be an American, and I hope you all are too. I'm thankful for you guys and all of your support.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Going Out In Style

Lately I've been having an issue with motivation. It's getting colder here in Massachusetts, and the colder it gets, the less I want to get out from under my warm blankets in the morning. Whether it's going to work or school, I find that a little bit of music to pump me up gives me the boost that I need to start my day and keep it going for the duration. Since I'm in Boston, it seems only fitting that I go for one of my favorite bands of all time: The Dropkick Murphys.

Their album Going Out in Style is easily their best album so far. It's energetic, motivating, and at the risk or over using a word that has invaded our vernacular in recent years: it's pretty damn EPIC. There isn't a bad song on the whole album. From the rowdy, vengeance-fueled "Hang 'em High" to the slow and sweet "1953" this album has kept me going for weeks, maybe even months. It's not only my favorite album by DKM, it's one of my favorite albums of all time, and I can't wait for Signed and Sealed in Blood to be released this January. 

Kiss Me I'm Irish

I've always said I was Irish. I never knew it for certain, but in lieu of any other cultural identity, Irish seemed the most likely for me. Hale is a surname that originates from the British Isles, with roots in Celtic tradition. I have red hair in my beard, alluding to a recessive gene to a lost hair color that is dominant in Irish families. I have anger issues that I've been suppressing since childhood. And last but certainly not least, I like my whiskey. It all made sense to me, but when it came right down to it, I wasn't sure. My family has been here since America were British Colonies, and I have not hard evidence to illuminate my cultural lineage, and in 300 years, it's likely that I really do have a little of everything. As such I always just claimed to be an American of European descent. But when I moved to Boston and started work at an Irish Pub, that all changed.

One of my coworkers, himself a Boston Irish, immediately recognized me as being Irish based on my looks and actions. I was amazed. And kind of ecstatic. Here I'd had assumptions based on my heritage that were confirmed by a nearly complete stranger. I suddenly felt as if everything fell into place and I could embrace my issues rather than repress them further. I'm not saying that I'm going to go start a brawl or carry around a knife in my pocket just because I got recognized as Irish by a Bostonian. Nor am I going to start spending all my tips on whiskey and beer. But I feel like I am becoming more aware of myself and who I really am and I'm feeling better for it. I still feel weird saying I'm Irish out loud. I think that I fit into a plethora of categories in our American culture and claiming just one isn't fair to me or my family's history. My grandpa came from Missouri and played blue grass music. I was born in the South. I got told by my manager that I would fit right in at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert when having a conversation about how quickly some of the other bouncers would get jumped by the Skynyrd crowd.

I guess what I'm saying is that working at the Lansdowne Pub has helped me realize some things about myself and embrace more of who I am. When I come back to California I will be a stronger, harder, more confident person. I may get in some fights along the way. I will probably make some bad life choices. But I won't regret them. I love my job, and I love the guys I work with. I sent Veterans' Day with a Marine that works with me. I get bought drinks by my managers. I have long talks with the bouncers where we swap stories for hours while it's slow. It's a slow process, but I'm embracing my life here in Boston, and it's going to change me for the better.

October Update

It's been almost a month since my last post. Life got a little bit busy, both in my personal life and my academic life. But I've had a productive yet frustrating day today so I thought I would sit down for a little while and write an update about my life.

Currently my life is busy, but mostly good. My work study may be ending for the semester, or I may be able to keep working until my whole year's worth of funding is exhausted. I hope the latter is true, because it would be nice to have that little extra to help me survive until my Spring semester financial aid check, which SHOULD be significantly more than the $16 I received this semester. I don't have the ridiculous new student fees or health insurance fee to pay, so that should be quite a significant chunk of change to help me survive. I just have to get there. But I'm not too worried, between tips and saying yes to everything my bosses at the pub ask of me, I should be able to save the money necessary for two months of rent. I just can't afford pizza or beer or whiskey anymore (which I REALLY want some whiskey....it's Boston, after all). Also, Math is giving me a really hard time. I was understanding the reasoning before we started using spread sheets, and now I feel like I can only get the correct result half the time, and never when I'm outside of the class room. It's something that I want to be somewhat skilled at because it's useful reasoning that I can use when looking at lists and charts when studying history. The final down side to my life as it stands right now is that I'm constantly lonely. I'm beginning to make friends, but right now they are slightly more than acquaintances, and I'm not sure which ones will survive past this semester. I miss being in a band, and I miss partying with my friends. I miss feeling loved and welcome wherever I went. I know that this loneliness will fade in time, likely by the middle of next semester, but it's currently something I have to deal with on a virtual daily basis. But lately I have been having my days where I look out the window and I know that there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

The Boston Harbor Islands are gorgeous in the fall. Reds, yellows, oranges, browns.....the colors are splendid. The air is crisp and cool and the sunsets are magnificent. I look out the window or stand outside and look over the horizon to see all the colors and I know that I made the right choice and I feel as if I never want to leave New England. The history, the weather, the colors....I love everything this region has to offer.  I could make a life here eventually, but it'll take time and money. Mostly it will take friends and mobility. There's only so far I can go by T or commuter rail and I don't really want to buy a car at the moment. I've been losing a lot of weight and I want to keep it down. Having a car would cause all of that progress to begin reversing and I'm not comfortable with that idea.

I'm getting ahead of myself. I've only been in Boston for three and a half months. I'm at the transition between leaving my old life behind and fully embracing my new home. There's a lot out of this experience that I want and I'm not going to go back to California until I'm satisfied with the idea that I've gotten as much as I could out of the East Coast. I met with my advisor today and discussed my options for graduating with honors, travelling abroad, and grad school requirements. I am more or less satisfied with my course schedule for next semester, though it will again be demanding. Such is the life of a history major. As long as I pass math this semester I will be on track for a splendid GPA and I can begin the application process for my Semester at Sea, in which I will circumnavigate the world crossing both the International Dateline AND the Equator, visit five continents and twelve countries, travel overland from Yokohama to Kobe, Japan and Shanghai to Hong Kong, China. I have a lot of grand experiences ahead of me and I can't wait to live them. My life and plans will be in constant process for a while, so I can't tell with much certainty if or when I'll come back for good. But I will always visit the ones I love and I look forward to seeing the ones that love me come to visit me as well.

I'm now running out of things to talk about so I'm going to end by posting what my current desired schedule for next semester is, along with a current picture of me looking awesome.

English 262G - The Art of Literature
History 395   - The History of Boston
History 396   - America's Favorite Passtime: the History of Baseball
History 361L - The History of Modern China

I have to choose one more course, but it depends on a number of factors that have yet to be determined.

I have yet to weigh myself, but those are the smallest pants I've been able to wear in a decade

Living Physically and Mentally in Boston

Today has been amazing. My mind is bursting with ideas for this post. I realize that my last post sounded somewhat defeatist and I was ready to come back to California. The financial strains were weighing heavily on me, and the fact that I had two jobs but no place to live was almost too much to handle. But now that I have a roof over my head and my financial aid has been reevaluated I am in a much better position to think analytically and make the most of my education. I came to Boston for a reason. I got here early enough so that  I could handle the struggles of finding work and a place to live before school started, and that paid off, though I'm finding it difficult to eat at the moment, but in a few months, I should be okay. I owe this attitude today to a friend of mine who warned me not to live physically in Boston but mentally in Arcata because such a mentality would be severely detrimental to the productivity of my pursuit of history. After I heard her say that, I realized that I was indeed leaving much of myself in Arcata, anticipating the day I could go back to California rather than enjoying the days I have here in Boston, the city of my dreams. Taking her advice to heart, I spent most of that evening studying. I hit the math book and didn't stop until all my problems were done. When I finished, I read as much of the required readings for the next day as I could until I realized that I would only get about 3 hours of sleep before having to wake up to go to school. But this didn't discourage me. I have been sacrificing my studies in order to try and get enough sleep, but I realized that this was flawed logic. The only time I should be worried about getting enough sleep is on the weekends when I work late at the Pub and have plenty of time afterwards to do homework.

So I stayed up late to do my homework. And it felt good.

For the first time this semester I felt accomplished in my studies. I didn't feel like there was no way I could keep up with my studies and still make the money I needed to live while getting enough sleep. I realized rather casually that I just needed to cut back on sleep. Homework is more important. How many college students can say that they got a full eight hours of sleep every night the entire time they were in school? I dare you to give me even one. Staying up late and sleeping little are a necessary part of a college student's life, especially one who is putting himself through school. I felt good about myself. I woke up reciting passages from the book I read three hours before. My subconscious mind was working and I was learning even in my dreams and I loved this feeling. Sleep is nothing compared to the feeling of accomplishment that comes with actually completing as much homework as possible.

So I went to school tired but vitalized at the same time. I would stop living mentally in Arcata and focus my life and energies here in Boston. I'm here to learn about history and cultures and humanity and I'm not leaving until I do. Today was the perfect first day for my new mindset. It started off with some interesting history, I learned a little bit about math, then more history and the transition of humans from hunter-gatherers to sedentary agricultural communities and the importance of the command of fire to the survival of a tribe. One of the books I read last night is called Growing Up in the People's Republic and it's written my one of my college professors. It's a conversation between her and a colleague about their experiences growing up in the Generation of Mao's Communist China. Except for the fact that I had to sleep, I couldn't put the book down. It was captivating and helped me understand a lot about the mindsets of people of the time, as well as some unknown links between how a family conducts their home life and the development of independent thought. In my class we discussed this book a lot and next Tuesday we get to meet the author in person and have a class discussion with her about the book. I gained so much insight into why Chinese think and act the way they do and I would recommend this book to anyone. This course was the first of my really stimulating discussions today, but not my last.

Every Tuesday and Thursday evening I have a Native American Women Studies course in which the professor never uses the chalk board. It is a lecture/discussion only class with some videos and we have to take notes ourselves. Today very few notes were taken as the entire class room was involved deeply in the discussion at hand that covered many topics from the importance of ethnic studies as a lense through which to study history to the impact film has on enforcing and breaking stereotypes and influencing the thoughts and actions of the culture. My professor even said that in the ten years she's been teaching at UMass Boston, this was the best class session she's ever had. We were so engrossed in the conversation that we ran out of time too soon, but we did get to see one video that I have posted below: the first Native American to ever appear on a major TV entertainment show.

After class, I had a long discussion about a variety of topics with two of my class mates that was one of the best conversations I've had since arriving in Boston over two months ago. It helped me look at the world in a new light and I've realized some more things about life that I want to share, especially with my friends that are or want to be teachers. I am more determined than ever to teach and being at UMass Boston is giving me so much insight into the problems of the education system and ways in which it actually can be fixed on a classroom level by teachers willing to do so. I'm so stoked about life and teaching and learning that I can't wait to do homework!