On Friday, March 23, I submitted my application for the University of Massachusetts Boston and ordered the required transcripts be mailed to the Office of Undergraduate Admissions. Two days earlier I had mailed my Admissions Essay. I was excited, but my excitement turned to nervousness with the realization that it was finally real. I had taken a big step that could change the entire course of my future.
When reviewing the Admissions requirements for the hundredth time, I became more worried about a specific clause that stated that "All of your college academic records are considered in the transfer admissions process." This worried me because my early collegiate career is marred by failure and sub-par performance. If they look at those grades will they be concerned that I may slip into the same habits in an unfamiliar city? Or will my dramatic improvement over the last year show them that I, like many other academics in history, have found the motivation for a successful career and am worthy of acceptance?
I am resigned to have faith that my academic improvement, coupled with the recommendation letter written by my English Professor will shine on my application and overshadow my tainted past. I wait now for my Professor's recommendation and a decision from the Office of Undergraduate Admissions.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
For a New Beginning, There Had to Be and End
Pinpointing the first step of this journey is a difficult task. It's easy to say that it started with Humboldt State University's denial of my petition for reinstatement. Or maybe it was after an email I received from the Financial Aid office of College of the Redwoods last February. The more I think about it, though, the more I believe that this has been my path since August 2009.
When Otto Waycott passed away that year I faced the reality that I was not taking school seriously so I took a year off of my studies to figure out what I really wanted out of life. After working a dead-end retail job, I realized that, even though I enjoyed the paycheck every two weeks, I couldn't be happy without a college education. Recognizing that money had no value without fulfillment through one's work, I chose to pursue my lifelong passion for history as well as develop a venue through which to explore and develop the thoughts and ideas that had been growing in the back of my mind throughout 2010.
Since returning to my studies in Spring 2011my academics have seen a one hundred and eighty degree rotation. I went from D's and F's to A's and B's. With the ill-planned exception of a math course in Fall 2011, my lowest course grade is a B-. I was confident that this would be enough to propel me forward to return to Humboldt State in the Fall of 2012, and I patiently and rapidly completed the petition for reinstatement, meeting with several councilors and advisers to make certain that everything was in order and I had met all requirements for reinstatement. I am not a strong math student, so I was especially concerned about any possible requirements in that subject area. Much to my relief at the time I was told by numerous advisers, including HSU's Director of Admissions, that because I had failed my math course at HSU that I shouldn't worry about taking Math at CR because I would have to re-take it at Humboldt anyway.
Confident in my readmission, I made my schedule for the spring and didn't worry so much about math that semester, as I had two History courses and a very demanding English course that were more helpful to my major than a math class I was told I didn't have to worry about. Spring 2012 came along and I was able to look back on a successful year of good marks and great experiences, though I began to fear that I was running out of courses to take at CR that would hold my interest enough to continue my success. I was lucky enough to be able to file for Academic Renewal, which is an option offered by CR to erase the grades from two semesters off your transcript if they don't accurately reflect your ability to succeed as a student. Doing this helped shoot my Grade Point Average far above its previous levels (1.1 to 2.8 with a 3.2 transferable GPA) and gave me some interesting classes to repeat for the Spring semester. Everything was going according to plan, until CR decided to take out a major cog in my clockwork.
I had received an email in January 2012 that required me to petition for financial aid. This was no big deal as at this point I had written many appeals to Financial Aid, first since I was on Academic Probation and then because I was approaching my unit capacity. This time, though, CR decided that academic renewal had placed me too far from completion of my program of study (as they figured that since I was at a community college I'm obviously working toward and AA) and that my financial aid would be revoked. I filed a secondary appeal, explaining that I was not there to earn an Associate's degree, only to complete the General Education requirements necessary to return to Humboldt State in the Fall. They decided that this was not an acceptable reason to grant me financial assistance and passed forth their final decision: I would not be getting the $3000 I was relying on that semester.
What was I to do? I was just informed that my lifeline for the next semester had been severed. On top of that, my two year relationship had just ended - the woman I had fallen in love with and come lean on for support and advice could no longer be there to help. I was lost. Drowning in an ocean whose tides had suddenly become unpredictable. I was choking for breath, searching for any sign of help and felt encumbered by the weight of 12 units with no way to pay for supplies. I needed money, but my schedule was so scattered it left me little time for realistic employment, so I did what I could under the circumstances: I cut lose some weight. I felt bad at first but it came with a flood of relief and a lung full of fresh air. Now down to just 9 units, I had some open space to fill up with the buoyancy of employment. But until that happened I was left with a salty taste in my mouth. The pain of my solitude, mixed with the helplessness of my financial situation left me feeling stranded. I looked hopefully to my readmission to Humboldt State, praying for some good news, praying that it would be solid ground could grasp onto. But that confirmation was still weeks away, so I passed out resumes and filled out applications to try and keep me afloat while I swam toward that island of hope.
Those weeks crawled by agonizingly slow. Still no job, no girlfriend, and no word. I began to feel like Humboldt, too, would find a way to take away my hope. My fears were realized when I opened my student center and saw a giant X for Denied on my application status. Surprised by the denial of my petition I immediately called HSU to ask on what grounds did they deny me. I was rendered speechless as I listened to the Director of Admission explain to me, regretfully, that he had overlooked a remediation requirement for math. MATH. The very course I was told by numerous people not to worry about was the very same course that prevented my readmission. I speechlessly hung up the phone and slowly my disbelief turned to fear, which turned to anger, and slowly tears of rage welled up in my eyes. What was I to do now? Still no job. Still no one to lean on. And now my future was taken away from me. My hard work over the last year had been for nothing. Nothing! There was almost nothing left for me to take at CR, and even if there was I couldn't get financial aid for it. There was no way that all my plans for my future could come crashing down on top of me this easily. There had to be another way, I just had to calm down, catch my breath, and figure it out.
When I still thought I was going to be attending Humboldt State, I had begun looking into exchange programs. Even though I was happy getting my degree from there, I knew that there was still much of the world I wanted to see while I still had the chance. I had started looking at Germany, but then I remembered a program called the National Student Exchange (NSE). I began looking at all the schools in that program and there was one that particularly caught my eye. The University of Massachusetts at Boston had a great location and a great History program, the only downside was that it did not have any on campus housing. At first this deterred me until I found that they do have a housing department designed to help students find apartments and room mates if needed. I had gotten so excited by it that I had immediately started making plans for a year long exchange there in 2013. When I got word from HSU that my Petition had been denied because of their mistake, my hopes of going to Boston were shattered. But then I began thinking. Why did those dreams have to stop just because Humboldt was stupid and unfair? The more I thought about it, the more I began to think that I should make UMass my priority. I had been working hard for a year, only to have everything taken away. My teachers had noticed that I was not myself, even though they did not know me before the semester. I had grown up religious, and though not widely advertised, my Faith in God is strong, especially in difficult times. I knew that these things could not have happened to me without another way presenting itself. This could be the way that the Lord was providing.
It was a big decision though. It would require a brand new start, meaning that I would have to leave behind everything that wasn't needed. I have a tendency to get too excited about things that are out of my league or I am unprepared to follow through with, so to be sure this was the right move, there were two people I had to consult first. Though Kathy and I had broken up, and I had hurt her in the past, she is still one of the two people I go to for advice and she is the only person who knows every side of me. She's my voice of reason and my financial and common sense adviser. She has always kept me away from making bad choices, and has helped me get out of the deepest ruts when I didn't listen to her. It was for all of these reasons that I went to her first. She listened patiently as I explained my situation and my new plan. I knew it was drastic, and the pause after I finished seemed to last forever, but she agreed that it was time for me to try and sever my ties to Humboldt County and the State of California.
The next person on my list was my older brother Eric. I have respected his advice ever since we were kids. Growing up, he was the most present male influence in my life, and we have always had a strong relationship, thought it's grown stronger as my confidence in my ability to succeed has grown. He, too, agreed that I should pursue my new start and pay no heed to any opinion that would deter me. With a few more words of caution and advice I had the unanimous support from the two people whose opinions I cared for most, and my decision was made. I immediately began plotting my exodus from California to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
(With a view like this, how could someone not want to go here?)
At first I couldn't get enough. The thought of a new start at such a scenic school with such an amazing history program was mind-boggling. The school is located right on Boston Harbor and the student apartments are not far away, either. It seemed to be the perfect place to begin anew. First priority was to look up transfer requirements, all of which I met. Then application requirements. I would need:
-Application Fee of $60
-An essay
-An academic recommendation letter
-Official College Transcripts from all institutions attended whether you are seeking to transfer credit or not.
This last part concerns me a little. Though my grades have drastically improved since returning to school a year ago, I was academically disqualified from HSU, and my first several semesters at CR were less than spectacular as well. My hope is that when UMass reviews those transcripts, they look primarily at my transferable GPA, which at this point is a 3.2, and I hope will be higher at the end of Spring 2012. But only time would tell how my blemished past would effect my future.
For the essay I went to my English Professor, Judie Hinman. Before I even began to discuss my new goal, she could immediately see the improvement in my attitude and stance. She gave me a few ideas about where to start and became increasingly excited about my new mission the more we talked. I left our conference with more hope and confidence than I had walking in. There was another ally for my cause. A PhD in English, no less! A couple weeks later I took my first draft to Professor Hinman for another conference, and she returned the paper to me with a few marks of suggestion. I had attempted to blend several of the essay topics together to form a distinctive essay, but I was unable to effectively sew those thoughts together seamlessly. My attempt to write a second draft was delayed by some unplanned, but positive events.
Between writing my first essay and attempting my second, Kathy and I began to discuss our relationship and what we wanted out of it. We realized that, even though our lives were going separate directions in six months, we needed each other in the moment, and decided to stop trying to stay apart and embrace each other for our own needs. I needed her support and advice while I tried to apply and save for attendance at UMass, and she didn't want to be alone. Our needs were such that we once more embraced our love in a new light, finding a balance that worked much better for both of us. The day after we worked out our relationship, I received a text message from the manager of the Depot, one of HSU's dining facilities. He had an opening for me on Tuesdays. It wasn't much, but I suddenly felt as if I was gaining some more buoyancy in these turbulent waters. A week or so later, I sat down to figure out how many hours I would need to work in order to make enough money for my bare essential expenses before moving to Boston. My figures showed me that 13 hours a week would be needed to make it. I was only working 4 and a half. A mere minutes after these calculations I received another text asking me to come in that day to fill a shift. By the end of that shift I had two more, putting me at 12 and a half hours a week. Relieved that I was able to stay afloat, I was able to return once more to my essay.
After taking a couple days away from the essay I wrote a new one on the influence a historical figure has had on me. I wrote the first draft in one evening, tired and anxious to go to bed early so as to rise in time to squeeze in one last conference with Professor Hinman before spring break. When she read my new essay she looked up at me and said simply: "you nailed it." I couldn't believe my ears. I had just written it the night before, and edited some of the wording that morning on the bus to school. How could it be that it was that good already? She read it again for mechanical errors but said that the content was perfect. Baffled, I went to my History professor from Fall semester for a second opinion. He, too, pointed out some mechanical and organization errors, but agreed that the content met the requirements of the essay as laid out by the UMass website. With two college professors supporting my new draft, I was able to leave school that day with my head high on my shoulders and great confidence as I went into spring break, in which I now start this blog to chronicle my progress and adventures along the path to UMass Boston.
I had received an email in January 2012 that required me to petition for financial aid. This was no big deal as at this point I had written many appeals to Financial Aid, first since I was on Academic Probation and then because I was approaching my unit capacity. This time, though, CR decided that academic renewal had placed me too far from completion of my program of study (as they figured that since I was at a community college I'm obviously working toward and AA) and that my financial aid would be revoked. I filed a secondary appeal, explaining that I was not there to earn an Associate's degree, only to complete the General Education requirements necessary to return to Humboldt State in the Fall. They decided that this was not an acceptable reason to grant me financial assistance and passed forth their final decision: I would not be getting the $3000 I was relying on that semester.
What was I to do? I was just informed that my lifeline for the next semester had been severed. On top of that, my two year relationship had just ended - the woman I had fallen in love with and come lean on for support and advice could no longer be there to help. I was lost. Drowning in an ocean whose tides had suddenly become unpredictable. I was choking for breath, searching for any sign of help and felt encumbered by the weight of 12 units with no way to pay for supplies. I needed money, but my schedule was so scattered it left me little time for realistic employment, so I did what I could under the circumstances: I cut lose some weight. I felt bad at first but it came with a flood of relief and a lung full of fresh air. Now down to just 9 units, I had some open space to fill up with the buoyancy of employment. But until that happened I was left with a salty taste in my mouth. The pain of my solitude, mixed with the helplessness of my financial situation left me feeling stranded. I looked hopefully to my readmission to Humboldt State, praying for some good news, praying that it would be solid ground could grasp onto. But that confirmation was still weeks away, so I passed out resumes and filled out applications to try and keep me afloat while I swam toward that island of hope.
Those weeks crawled by agonizingly slow. Still no job, no girlfriend, and no word. I began to feel like Humboldt, too, would find a way to take away my hope. My fears were realized when I opened my student center and saw a giant X for Denied on my application status. Surprised by the denial of my petition I immediately called HSU to ask on what grounds did they deny me. I was rendered speechless as I listened to the Director of Admission explain to me, regretfully, that he had overlooked a remediation requirement for math. MATH. The very course I was told by numerous people not to worry about was the very same course that prevented my readmission. I speechlessly hung up the phone and slowly my disbelief turned to fear, which turned to anger, and slowly tears of rage welled up in my eyes. What was I to do now? Still no job. Still no one to lean on. And now my future was taken away from me. My hard work over the last year had been for nothing. Nothing! There was almost nothing left for me to take at CR, and even if there was I couldn't get financial aid for it. There was no way that all my plans for my future could come crashing down on top of me this easily. There had to be another way, I just had to calm down, catch my breath, and figure it out.
When I still thought I was going to be attending Humboldt State, I had begun looking into exchange programs. Even though I was happy getting my degree from there, I knew that there was still much of the world I wanted to see while I still had the chance. I had started looking at Germany, but then I remembered a program called the National Student Exchange (NSE). I began looking at all the schools in that program and there was one that particularly caught my eye. The University of Massachusetts at Boston had a great location and a great History program, the only downside was that it did not have any on campus housing. At first this deterred me until I found that they do have a housing department designed to help students find apartments and room mates if needed. I had gotten so excited by it that I had immediately started making plans for a year long exchange there in 2013. When I got word from HSU that my Petition had been denied because of their mistake, my hopes of going to Boston were shattered. But then I began thinking. Why did those dreams have to stop just because Humboldt was stupid and unfair? The more I thought about it, the more I began to think that I should make UMass my priority. I had been working hard for a year, only to have everything taken away. My teachers had noticed that I was not myself, even though they did not know me before the semester. I had grown up religious, and though not widely advertised, my Faith in God is strong, especially in difficult times. I knew that these things could not have happened to me without another way presenting itself. This could be the way that the Lord was providing.
It was a big decision though. It would require a brand new start, meaning that I would have to leave behind everything that wasn't needed. I have a tendency to get too excited about things that are out of my league or I am unprepared to follow through with, so to be sure this was the right move, there were two people I had to consult first. Though Kathy and I had broken up, and I had hurt her in the past, she is still one of the two people I go to for advice and she is the only person who knows every side of me. She's my voice of reason and my financial and common sense adviser. She has always kept me away from making bad choices, and has helped me get out of the deepest ruts when I didn't listen to her. It was for all of these reasons that I went to her first. She listened patiently as I explained my situation and my new plan. I knew it was drastic, and the pause after I finished seemed to last forever, but she agreed that it was time for me to try and sever my ties to Humboldt County and the State of California.
The next person on my list was my older brother Eric. I have respected his advice ever since we were kids. Growing up, he was the most present male influence in my life, and we have always had a strong relationship, thought it's grown stronger as my confidence in my ability to succeed has grown. He, too, agreed that I should pursue my new start and pay no heed to any opinion that would deter me. With a few more words of caution and advice I had the unanimous support from the two people whose opinions I cared for most, and my decision was made. I immediately began plotting my exodus from California to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
At first I couldn't get enough. The thought of a new start at such a scenic school with such an amazing history program was mind-boggling. The school is located right on Boston Harbor and the student apartments are not far away, either. It seemed to be the perfect place to begin anew. First priority was to look up transfer requirements, all of which I met. Then application requirements. I would need:
-Application Fee of $60
-An essay
-An academic recommendation letter
-Official College Transcripts from all institutions attended whether you are seeking to transfer credit or not.
This last part concerns me a little. Though my grades have drastically improved since returning to school a year ago, I was academically disqualified from HSU, and my first several semesters at CR were less than spectacular as well. My hope is that when UMass reviews those transcripts, they look primarily at my transferable GPA, which at this point is a 3.2, and I hope will be higher at the end of Spring 2012. But only time would tell how my blemished past would effect my future.
For the essay I went to my English Professor, Judie Hinman. Before I even began to discuss my new goal, she could immediately see the improvement in my attitude and stance. She gave me a few ideas about where to start and became increasingly excited about my new mission the more we talked. I left our conference with more hope and confidence than I had walking in. There was another ally for my cause. A PhD in English, no less! A couple weeks later I took my first draft to Professor Hinman for another conference, and she returned the paper to me with a few marks of suggestion. I had attempted to blend several of the essay topics together to form a distinctive essay, but I was unable to effectively sew those thoughts together seamlessly. My attempt to write a second draft was delayed by some unplanned, but positive events.
Between writing my first essay and attempting my second, Kathy and I began to discuss our relationship and what we wanted out of it. We realized that, even though our lives were going separate directions in six months, we needed each other in the moment, and decided to stop trying to stay apart and embrace each other for our own needs. I needed her support and advice while I tried to apply and save for attendance at UMass, and she didn't want to be alone. Our needs were such that we once more embraced our love in a new light, finding a balance that worked much better for both of us. The day after we worked out our relationship, I received a text message from the manager of the Depot, one of HSU's dining facilities. He had an opening for me on Tuesdays. It wasn't much, but I suddenly felt as if I was gaining some more buoyancy in these turbulent waters. A week or so later, I sat down to figure out how many hours I would need to work in order to make enough money for my bare essential expenses before moving to Boston. My figures showed me that 13 hours a week would be needed to make it. I was only working 4 and a half. A mere minutes after these calculations I received another text asking me to come in that day to fill a shift. By the end of that shift I had two more, putting me at 12 and a half hours a week. Relieved that I was able to stay afloat, I was able to return once more to my essay.
After taking a couple days away from the essay I wrote a new one on the influence a historical figure has had on me. I wrote the first draft in one evening, tired and anxious to go to bed early so as to rise in time to squeeze in one last conference with Professor Hinman before spring break. When she read my new essay she looked up at me and said simply: "you nailed it." I couldn't believe my ears. I had just written it the night before, and edited some of the wording that morning on the bus to school. How could it be that it was that good already? She read it again for mechanical errors but said that the content was perfect. Baffled, I went to my History professor from Fall semester for a second opinion. He, too, pointed out some mechanical and organization errors, but agreed that the content met the requirements of the essay as laid out by the UMass website. With two college professors supporting my new draft, I was able to leave school that day with my head high on my shoulders and great confidence as I went into spring break, in which I now start this blog to chronicle my progress and adventures along the path to UMass Boston.
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