Things to be Thankful For

Last year I went on a little bit of a rant about the origins of Thanksgiving for whatever reason. I think it was largely because it was my first Thanksgiving alone and away from friends and family, and also because we were actually learning about the Thanksgiving story in class at that time. However, this year I actually want to draw attention to some of the things I'm thankful for, because I genuinely believe that if there are things and people in your life that mean something to you, then they should know it. So here it goes:

1) The Fix-Wellmans. I'm thankful for these three people for reasons that go beyond reason or explanation. These three have been here for me through thick and thin. They're friends, advisors, drinking buddies, and they aren't afraid to point out the opposite side to a coin when I'm determined only to see the side that looks the best. I'll be missing you guys this Thanksgiving, and I hope yours is grand.

2) Chris and Melinda

These to amazing people are getting married in May and I have the incredible honor of being among Chris' groomsmen. The three of us have a long history of crack trips and silly voyages through the wee hours of the night for the glory of HSU and just because we could. I don't know any two people who can will into existence a crack trip to Boston simply because HSU is playing in Queens and then actually make it happen. Having you guys visit me across the country will always be one of my fondest memories in this cold, bitter north. When I think of these two, I always laugh and am kept warm by the memories we share. Just....don't ask what we're doing.

4) My family

Some families are messed up while others are fine. Mine has its issues, its skeletons in the closet, but we're still there for each other when we need it. There are members of my family that aren't as close as others, but that's what makes us human. We develop relationships with some people closer than others, even when we're related by blood. In fact, all of the people mentioned previously in this post, and for the remainder of it, I consider my family. But I'll take a bit to point out my brother and my mother as two of the people I'm closest to. Up until I joined the Marching Lumberjacks in 2006, my older brother was my best friend in the world. We had been so since I was too little to remember. He's now happily married and we each have lives of our own, but that doesn't change the fact that we have the closest relationship of anyone in our direct family. We don't always talk, but when we do it's for hours on end. I was not always the best brother for a while, and I owe a lot of my success to my guilt and my desire to make up for that time. I do a lot of what I do to make myself better, but also to make those who mean something to me proud of me, and my brother is chief among them. My mother and I, likewise, don't talk often, but when we do it's also for hours at a time. She always makes sure to ask about my life and my interests and wants me to know that as much as she misses me, she's proud of what I'm doing and doesn't want me to be anywhere else. It gets lonely out here sometimes, but I know that I have family who will listen if I just pick up the phone.

5) Megan McTavish

Last, but definitely not least, is Megan McTavish. God blessed me immensely when he introduced the two of us back in 2006. Little did I know at the time that I had met one of the best friends I would ever make. Megan has earned her place in my heart by always being there for me in the exact right moment that I needed someone. A hug, a friendly word, a reminder to pray and read my Bible, or even a scripture that she'd have ready for me, she always knew the right thing to say or do, whether she was conscious of it or not. She was there for me when my little brother overdosed back in 2008, she was there when my best friend lost his life in 2009. When I was scared and homeless and ready to give up my life in Boston before it even began, she was there to say the right thing to keep me going. She has earned her place in my life and my heart and no one is ever going to get between that. I was so happy and blessed that I got to share my life in Boston with her at the end of October to early November this year. I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for her or anyone else previously mentioned, and it was fantastic to share with her what she helped me make. I can't wait until our next adventure together.

So there it is. There is more that I'm thankful for, but I thought that I would draw special attention to these today. I hope you are all having a fantastic Thanksgiving, wherever you are, and I hope to see you all again soon and have further adventures and make fantastic memories. Until then, Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.

October 30, 2013. I'll Never Forget This Day

I'll never forget this day. There is just so much to say about it. I got to spend so much of it in the Museum of Fine Arts with one of my dearest friends who's love of art is comparable to my love of history. I had the great privilege to be the one who escorted her to see the real works of some of her favorite artists.Words cannot describe the way it felt to see her excited in one of the best museums in the world. I always enjoy showing my friends around this awesome city, and as one of my dearest friends, I was especially pleased to be with Megan during her first visit to the MFA.

After nearly five hours of art and historical artifacts, we made our way down to the Massachusetts Historical Society to hear Joyce Chaplin talk about her book Round About the Earth. After a short reception and a wonderful discussion with one of the MFA's curators, we went into the beautiful reading room to listen to Professor Chaplin speak. Though most of it was material covered in her book, it was still an amazing opportunity to see someone so knowledgeable speak and to be in a room full of experienced scholars and professors, most with graying hair and clad in suits and bow-ties. (Megan and I were the youngest there by at least a decade). At the end of the talk I had the opportunity for Professor Chaplin to sign my book which of course I took.

I have to insert here that the condition of my copy of Professor Chaplin's book is not the best. I have spent a lot of time with it over the last 6 months and it has been rained on, written in, hauled around in a backpack and it wears all of it on its (dust) sleeve. Yet when Professor Chaplin took my book to sign it, she actually commented on how she admired the look and that it should "look like it's been left on the deck of a ship."

After we left the MHS, we made our way down to Faneuil Hall to have Boston's best clam chowder at Anthem and watch the beginning of Game 6 of the World Series. We decided to call it a night after Victorino's 3-run double, but were confident that it would be a good game. Sure enough by the time we got home the Red Sox had scored three more runs and shortly after Megan was asleep they won the World Series and earning the title of 2013 World Champions!

Boston shows its support for its team

awesome chips and onion dip

best clam chowder

Victorino's 3-run double gets the ball rolling for the Red Sox.

Not only did I get to spend a long and amazing day showing one of my favorite people around one of my favorite cities, but my city's baseball team won its 4th World Series in 95 years! What a day!

Fair Winds and Pleasant Seas

I have finally realized something this month. This last year has been pretty hard. Soul shattering depression, gut wrenching poverty, bone chilling cold.....it wasn't easy. But I think I realized that the main reason for all the difficulty I've experienced is not the environmental or financial factors of my existence, but rather the tether that I have refused to let go of. When I came out to Boston it was for a new start. It was to get away from California and find out what I'm capable of. But I held onto my relationships too tightly. My loves, my friends, my band....all of it is a part of who I am, but also a past to which I held on too tightly and it kept me anchored to Humboldt when I should have been focused on the reason I came to Boston in the first place: History. I have finally realized what I've been doing and now that I see it, it's easy enough to weigh anchor and move ahead at full sail. I am now devoted to my whole life in Boston and my education. I will make friends here, and I won't be afraid to talk to the most beautiful girl in the room, or make friends with the people in my major in order to stay sane during the cold winters. I'm not saying goodbye to you guys, I'm just throwing myself into my environment. You are all so far away that it's time I focus on who's nearby and willing to be my friend and show interest in my lectures on meaningless facts in history. It's truly time for me to sail boldly into that great vast sea with a heading of the second star to the right and straight on 'til morning. I will return from time to time, but I can really, truly see now that Humboldt is not my home and I don't think it ever will be again. There really is nothing there calling for my return so unless I become a Professor of History at HSU I shall likely never stay more than 10 days in Humboldt County. But should you all ever find yourselves in Boston, look me up.

26: Another Reference Point

It's 2013 and I'm 26 years old today. I am officially closer to 30 than 20, my teen years are far behind me and my days of excessive drinking and loafing around are over. When I was 24 I decided to really start taking control of my life and taking risks that would hold the greatest potential for my happiness. That's what led me to Boston, and  over the last year I have changed and learned a lot.

This time last year I was quite alone. I worked for several hours at the Brookline Public Library and then went to Faneuil Hall to buy a hat and a clam chowder dinner for one. I was homeless and pretty scared that my adventure would end before it really ever began. But with prayer and hard work, my situation improved drastically, and here I am a year later still going.

Today I'm a little broke, but that's because this year I have rent to pay, and that took up all my money, where last year, I was saving for a house I wasn't sure I'd ever get. But tonight I'm doing more than having dinner for one. This year, though I have less money, I have more friends, and therefore I will be out having quality fun. My friend Nicole from school is taking me out to a comedy show in Cambridge, it's Industry Night at work, meaning I get a free beer and maybe even a shot of whiskey. Overall, my situation has improved in the last year, and though I have had some rough patches, I am quite happy. I'm even remembering why I love school and history so much now that my friend Maya is back from England and we can talk about our goals together. There's just something about having someone who's as motivated as you and has the same interests and similar goals that helps you keep your ambitions in the front of your mind. Life is pretty good at 26, and I hope it only gets better from here.

God Bless America

Since it's been several months since I last wrote a blog post, there are several things I want to put in this one, but since I have a tendency to forget things as I get more involved in a single subject, we'll see just how many things get written about.

First off, I want to start by explaining a little bit about why I've been so silent the last couple months. This last semester kicked my ass. It was the coldest winter of my entire life and I was unprepared. Tack on some emotional issues I experienced with one of my best friends, and you have the making of the most difficult semester of my life, aside from Spring 2012 which started this whole adventure. After Spring Break, I got really sick and depressed and struggled to keep up with my jobs, my homework, and my classes. I felt like I was wading around in a thick quagmire and struggled to keep up. Somehow I succeeded and made the Dean's List for the second semester in a row, though just barely. My GPA was an abysmal 3.1 and brought my overall down to a 3.3 from it's previous 3.54. But I survived! And as a bonus and reward, I got to go home for the first time in almost a year!

Home was great. It was full of music, laughter, friends, and family and it was just what I needed to keep me going. There was so much BBQ and beer that I felt as if I was in Heaven, and by the end of the 10 days, I didn't want to come back. But I still have a job to do and it was for that reason, along with setting an example for my niece and nephews and making my family and friends proud, that I got on the plane.

When I got back, however, things didn't exactly go back to normal. The reason I expected to be able to go on vacation for so long was because I anticipated having hours at the pub to help me eat and pay rent. But it was 10 days before I got any hours at work. I spent my time working out and working at the Library to make up for it, and it didn't seem to be enough. I was in serious danger of missing rent.

Ever since I got my place back in September, I've never worried about making rent. I've worried about having the time to get to the bank to pay it on time, but I've never worried about having the money to pay. This was the first time in almost a year that I've worried about whether or not I would even have the money to keep my awesome roof over my head. It got to the point that last week I was having a panic attack over this fact, when I remembered to say my prayers and ask God for help and guidance. Sure enough, though I was already scheduled for two days at the pub that week, my 5 hour days turned into a 9.75 and 11.25 hour day respectively. I also got called in on Friday to cover a no-show. The tips from these days went straight into my bank and I continued to pray that I would make rent on time.

Today is payday, and guess what? My paycheck was 70 dollars more than I anticipated, meaning that I not only made rent on time, but I had $75 to spare, plus an extra $30 in cash. Tomorrow is Independence Day, and you know what I'm doing? I'm using that extra money to buy a 30-rack of cheap American beer, a new pair of khakis, and a sixer of good ol' California beer to celebrate. God has certainly blessed me this month, and if He ignores us the rest of the year, at least this week I shout GOD BLESS AMERICA! I love my country, I love this city, and I love what I'm capable of. God has blessed me with amazing friends and the ability to accomplish anything I set my mind to, and I am forever grateful. Now, time to drink some beer on my kick ass balcony.

A Marathon of Emotions

Yesterday was Patriots' Day in Massachusetts. It is an observance of the battles of Lexington and Concord and the Patriotic Spirit that is embodied by the people and places of the State of Massachusetts. It is observed on the third Monday of every April, and it is a school holiday, Marathon Monday, and overall a huge celebration in the city of Boston. It is a day when the spirit of Bostonians and New Englanders comes alive with camaraderie and joviality.

And yesterday this spirit was attacked.

I was at work when it happened. I was inside a loud Pub listening to drunk people and crappy music, stepping all over the new bussers, colliding with Hostesses and servers and cleaning up after everyone and their mothers. Yet I was able to watch the shift in attitude as the news began to pour in. The TVs in the Pub were all broadcasting the Red Sox game and the Marathon, so when the bombs went off at the finish line, everyone saw it. I think some on the patio might have even heard it.

At first they didn't know what it was. The band got back on stage and made an announcement that there was an explosion and that they thought it might have been a sewer pipe that caught a spark and burst. They urged the patrons to keep calm and enjoy the music. But we soon found out that it wasn't the sewers. When the doctors started pulling ball bearings out of people, it was clear that this was a planned and coordinated attack. The type of explosives used were deemed by police as amateur and unsophisticated, the equivalent of a shrapnel propelling pipe bomb. The simplicity of such a device makes it unlikely that this was a foreign attack by a major terrorist cell, but a domestic attack by someone who knew Boston well.

I am unwilling to make my speculations public, as I am not trained in investigative techniques, nor do I have all the evidence. However, I do know that yesterday I felt like a Bostonian. I felt that this city I love and have come to call my home was finally accepting of me. When Barack Obama made his statement in support of our city I felt that he was speaking for us, not them. When he called Boston a tough and resilient city, I felt tough and resilient. I was disgusted by the people who were making jokes of the bombings before the smoke had even cleared. I was more disgusted by the kitchen staff worker who was laughing at the marathon runners knocked down by the explosions. When I stopped to think about the events of yesterday, I realized that had I not been working, I would have been near either the Marathon explosions or the JFK bomb. The JFK Presidential Library and Museum is located on the same peninsula as my University, I often look at it while I study. Had I not been at work, I would likely have been either in my school's library writing a paper, or at a bar near the marathon finish line, watching my first Boston Marathon. But because it was a holiday, and I didn't have school, I requested the day to work. Requested. And work was the best place I could have been.

I thank God for watching over me and I pray that He watches over the families of those hurt and killed. I thank Him for my friends and family who care for me and care for my well being  And I pray for the people who did this because when the people of Boston find out who's responsible for this act, only God will be able to save them.

My Year of Living Adventurously

It has been one year since I started this blog. One year since my journey began. Looking back, a lot has changed. I have changed. One year ago the State of California was taking away everything I had. I was single, I was depressed, I was lost. I needed a change, and it took the ground being torn out from under me to force me to take the leap.

In the last year I have become a new man. I am no longer the terrified kid that left California with 80 bucks and a dream. I'm wiser, stronger, harder, better looking, more confident. I have seen a new part of the world and I've seen what I'm made of. I have had some of the best experiences of my life, and felt some of the most excruciating pain, as well. I have experienced what it feels like to love a place so completely, but dread it because the people you love the most aren't there to share it with you.

I've found out a lot about who I am, and been devastated when people I thought I knew turned out to be very different than how I thought they were. The distance has caused me to drift apart from some, while bringing me closer to others. I have learned who my true friends are, and who I don't want to be. I have learned that I am far more intelligent than I once thought, and my work ethic is a rare diamond in the rough. I know now that I am an amazing individual and very good at many things, some of it naturally, some of it through hard work. I've learned that it's easy to do what's easy, even when it doesn't make you happy, and extremely hard to take a chance, even if it will change your life. If you can make that leap, the gain is worth the risk.

I have learned that by following your heart, you will find your self. When I left Arcata, I was a scared kid, who was chasing a dream, but also running from his problems. In the last year I have found my dream, and solved my problems. I have gotten lost, and once again found myself. I have learned that when doors are closed to you, it gives you a chance to enjoy the view for a while, and then you can open another that leads you to a better place. I have learned that love is an amazing thing that can keep you going when you otherwise want to give up. There have been many times where I just wanted to hop on a flight back home, to stop this silly adventure and go back to the way things were. But love kept me going. The love my friends and family have for me. The love I have for them. The love I have for Boston, and history, and hard work, and perseverance. I learned that love can bridge the gap of thousands of miles and bring friends closer together. Love can show you the important things in life. 

I now know what I want out of life and I have an idea of how I will spend it, who the people I love are, and who love me. Life is too short to waste on someone who means nothing, or who means something but is poison for your morals and your soul. Life should be lived through love. Love for adventure. Love for a woman. Love for life. I have learned who and what I love, and I'm not going to waste my life on anything else. I will not stop until I've achieved my loves, and when I have them, I will continue to nourish them. Life moves pretty fast. I'll be damned if I miss anymore of it. Carpe Diem, lads, Carpe Diem.